The Wittens Take Chicago

Arlo and I will often peer out our big living room window and watch cars drive by or look at the church across the street while I name things: gargoyles, japanese maple, steeple, stained glass -- words become sounds. There's a tree in the church courtyard and today, a dark, rainy day, it is at the pinnacle of it's fall color -- a happy, bright yellow, still full of leaves for now, with a generous golden sprinkling on the ground below.

But my post today is about my sister, Maria, who visited us recently with her husband Aron and their adorable daughter Saskia. Maria is almost seven years younger than me, but we've always been very close. It's been a week since she left and I miss her. The yellow tree reminds me of her: her brightness, her beauty, her generosity of spirit.

Arlo picked up on this immediately, rewarding Maria with some of his biggest, happiest smiles. He was also pretty excited to have another little person to hang out with.

Being pregnant at the same time as Maria was great, sharing all the excitement and trepidation...

...but spending our days together with Arlo and Saskia was awesome. All the hard stuff -- the self-questioning, the fatigue, the loneliness, the countdown till husbands get home -- was gone completely and in its place was great conversation, pleasant walks, laughter, meals, reassurances, relief. And all the good stuff was even better for the sharing of it.

My good friends Amber and Dina have pointed out that we're not meant to raise babies alone but in communities with other women, other families. How true this is -- it changes everything, makes everything lighter, easier. Of course it helps that Maria makes me laugh like no one else. It helps that Arlo adores her. It helps that in her company, I am no longer afraid to eat lunch in a restaurant with a baby who may or may not start crying. Maria, I miss you so much. You are my bright tree on a gloomy day. Come back soon!

Saskia herself is a wonder with her dark wavy hair, her dimples, her tiny, strong body, the sweet sounds she emits with great gusto. It was amazing to see her and Arlo respond to each other and to see subtle flashes of family resemblance.

Mark and Aron also had some good quality man time together -- taking in an historic Blackhawks game (biggest comeback in NHL history), pounding the pavement with babies strapped to their chests, babysitting while Maria and I went shopping or out to dinner, making a serious dent in a couple bottles of good Scotch.

We celebrated Canadian Thanksgiving together, and it was clear what we were thankful for. No doot aboot it.